Frumgirl 1: So Much For Individuality

This is the sad truth that I’ve come to realize: after spending majority of my teenage-hood trying to break free of the boxes the frum world was so fond of sticking me into, I had a larger chance of being viewed as an individual there than in the “real” world.

The only time I will ever be viewed as an individual and not the “token super-religious woman” is when I’m back in an environment with other frum people for comparison.

It’s comical, really. I defied a frum three-word summation of myself, convinced that the cookie-cutter obsession was a mere frum-foible only to find out that it is entirely impossible to escape a two-word definition in the outside world.

I must laugh.

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Published in: on August 17, 2008 at 1:14 PM  Comments (9)  

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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. i dont usually comment, but i just wanted to let you know that i love reading your blog! there must be tons of us out there who just pop in here to read this without commenting. thanks, and keep em coming please 🙂

  2. What three word summation did you defy? sounds intriguing!

  3. The sort of cookie-cutter girl that comes out of my particular high school, that can be defined entirely by “A (insert high school name here) Girl.”

  4. Do you sometimes feel the need to convince people that you’re really different? Like, when they tell you, “Do all Orthodox people [insert custom]?” and you try to show how you dont do that?

  5. Oh, I’m pretty comfortable with who I am, what I do, and don’t do. I’m usually happy to own up to it all.

    Weird or far-off questions don’t bother me, it’s the ones that have truth in them that get sticky sometimes. I’m not so happy associating with stupidity or things I don’t agree with. Luckily, I’m also good at spinning things.

    I’m always careful not to portray any type or aspect of Orthodoxy in a negative light when talking to people, regardless of how well I identify with it myself.

    And I’m good at debating. And spinning things I don’t necessarily agree with into a concept that has inherent truth. That always helps.

  6. Wow. So you’re one of those people who can argue for something even if you don’t necessarily agree with it?

  7. Yuppers. It’s easier than you make it sound.

  8. Yes, well a relative of mine (not being specific for reasons of Loshon hora) thought the frum word bottled and boxed her until she left the frum worl… and discovered that the out-side world has their own boxes!

  9. Wow, it’s like you read my mind…I’ll only be different, out-of-the-box, unique, worldly etc…if I’m in the frum world, the moment I step out, I’m just like everyone else.


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