Frumgirl 1: A No-Contact Sport

For some strange reason, it takes a fairly long time for non-frummies to figure out that they really can’t touch you. No, not even a hug when I’m depressed. No, not even a high five. No, I won’t be burned on a stake if you touch me by accident. Yes, I can touch my family. Yes, I can touch my spouse. We religious fanatics have children, don’t we? Idiots.

That little idiot comment is probably what gets me into trouble. I am an intelligence snob. Idiots annoy me and I cannot relate to them.

Playing grad school as a no-contact sport involves some pretty extensive shenanigans. Take, for example, the no-contact high five, which involves speeding you hand towards the other person’s and recoiling two inches away with a large bounce as if hitting an invisible air mattress. The no-contact hug looks even more ridiculous, like your hugee is invisibly obese and you’re squashing them.

Oh, the lengths that we go to befriend the earthlings without compromising our alien laws. *Sighs*

Here’s a question that just popped into my head: can I shake hands with a guy if I’m wearing gloves?

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Published in: on December 11, 2007 at 2:24 PM  Comments (4)  

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. No. Nor can you kiss through a cloth. 😛

  2. once in amsterdam a guy was high fiving me and I just smacked the air.. and told him that that’s the way we do it in America!

  3. 5p80fTxy6xnP5

  4. Where I am we have the “pen shake” – as our scrubs have pen pockets (marvelous things), there’s usually a pen handy to extend to the other person in lieu of a handshake. Unfortunately, it only works on those in the know (which at this point is most of my class, but not, sadly, interviewers.)


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