(Frumgirl 1 lowers her binoculars)
The Jewish Woman (Mulier Jewess) can be easily spotted in the Brooklyn area at all times of the year. She is both indigenous and aggressive so sightings are frequent and binoculars are rarely necessary. She is most distinguishable from afar by her coat of black and distinctive vocal pattern. Her behavior is unique, as well. Two common characteristics of the Jewish Woman are the ability to accomplish more in a given time than is deemed possible by general human standards and the propensity she has to spend her life feeding everyone she meets.
I have drafted this entry for an Audobon-esque guide to humans. Photographic quality prints are in progress. Given such commonly known information about Jewish Women, such exchanges should be fairly common:
Classmate: What’s in that bag you’re holding?
Me: More cake. An immediate family member of mine has gotten married, so I have a seven parties’ worth of leftover food to distribute.
Classmate, unimpressed: Is it good cake?
Me: I believe so, but I expect you to eat it even if it isn’t.
Classmate: You are so Jewish.
The cake was good, in case anyone was wondering. It was decimated (in the literal sense) in less than a second.
